LAUGHING BLOG: Comedy Sequel

Hi ya folks,
Iam back with a new funny jokes and pictures and i hope you will enjoy them....

Ahmm.......

Hi ya uncle well how can i forget you uncle...Herez my Uncle Mr.Bean....

here we go let me start...shooo shooo go away......bad monkey

where in the hell it came????

Uncle stop immitating as a monkey!!!

would you please shoo it off!!!!!

Oh pardon me...uncle does it u guys know that....

Know lets start with jokes:

1)A man is walking in a graveyard when he hears the Third Symphony played backward. When it’s over, the Second Symphony starts playing, also backward, and then the First. "What’s going on?" he asks a cemetery worker. "It’s Beethoven," says the worker. "He’s decomposing."

2)A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job.

So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together.

The priest begins: "When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion."

"I found a bear by the stream," says the minister, "and preached God's Holy Word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him."

They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. "Looking back," he says, "maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision."

3)Joe, Mike, Mary, and Tom were talking about their dream jobs.

"I want to be a lawyer," Joe began, "so that I can defend my countrymen."

"I want to be a congressman," said Mike, "so I can draft laws to benefit my countrymen."

"I want to be a doctor," said Mary, "so that I can cure my countrymen."

"How about you, Tom? What would you like to be?" asked Joe.

Tom thought a moment and replied, "I'd like to be a countryman."

4)A neighbor finds a young boy sitting on the stairs crying.
"What's the matter, honey?" she asks him.
"It's my father," the boy sobs.
"He hit his finger with a hammer."
"Then why are you crying?"
"Because first I laughed!"

5)"About a month before he died, my grandmother covered my grandfather's back with lard. After that, he went downhill very quickly."

6)A business executive visits his dear Chinese friend in the hospital.
"Li kai yang qi guan," says the sick man feebly.
The executive desperately wants to help him, but he doesn't speak Mandarin.
"Li kai yang qi guan!" says the patient, as he draws his last breath.
Later that year, the executive is in Shanghai on business when he finally learns the meaning of Li kai yang qi guan: "Get off my oxygen tube."

7) Doctor: Have you taken my advice and slept with the window open?
Patient: Yes.
Doctor: So your asthma disappeared completely?
Patient: No, but my watch, TV, iPod, and laptop have.

8)President Sarkozy visits a steel factory. To the boss's surprise, the president greets an employee, Morton, with a warm hug. The same thing happens when Barack Obama visits, and again during Vladimir Putin's tour. Unimpressed, the boss says to Morton, "I bet you don't know the pope."
Morton shrugs. "We play golf together."
The gauntlet has been tossed, and the boss pays their way to the Vatican. During the Benediction, Morton slips away. Sure enough, he reappears—side by side with the pope. Two Chinese tourists tap the boss on the shoulder and ask, "Who's the guy in white standing with Morton?"

This last joke is for my good friend in kenya..Mugambi...pal here it is just for you.....

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile..... somewhere, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Reached Safely
Date: 21 st July, 2004

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and we are allowed to send e-mails to our loved ones. I've just reached safely and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was .........

RULE:

Two photos of sports enjoy!!!!!

OOPS...Not a Ball.....